Most of my blog posts are directed to the job seeker with tips, advise, and other kinds of help on how to land that perfect job. But today, I want to address someone who gets easily overlooked during this time: the spouse of the job seeker. If you are currently looking for work, please forward this to your spouse in a LOVING way. My hope for this article is to open up conversation and help give an understanding that is so needed during this time.
Your wife or husband has been searching for work for what seems forever now. At this point, you are probably frustrated: you’re working your tail off and have the extra pressure of being the sole provider. And any chance of YOU looking for a better job is at a stand-still. Right now you’re exhausting yourself to just to keep your job and get extra money every now and then. Am I striking any chords yet?
If so, please keep reading. There is nothing worse than having a bitter or angry spouse. If your spouse is currently unemployed, please realize that he or she is doing the best they can. Just like you.
Remember that whole “for better or for worse” part of your vows? Well, this is when it gets tested. Your spouse needs you more than ever right now. His or her self-esteem has been hit pretty hard so you need to help lift them back up again. It doesn’t matter how it was done (lay-off, downsizing, or being terminated), the fact is that they didn’t see it coming and they are shaken by it. Let him or her know you’ll support them and love them… because you do.
Realize that finding a job is not easy – it is tough (and mostly un-fulfilling) work and It can take time. A whole of precious time. It’s gonna take patience and time. If finding gainful employment were so easy, then no one would be looking. Your spouse cannot control how long it takes for an employer to look at his or her resume and call for an interview. It can take days, weeks, or even months to hear back from a company that is hiring.
More times than not, your spouse wants to work more badly than your desire for him or her to have a job. It is much easier to already have a job than to have to search, apply, interview, and land a job. Plus, he she wants to earn a living land contribute to the family again. There is a certain pride in being able to work and stand on your own two feet.
When you find your spouse taking breaks from staring at on-line job boards or networking, he or she is not being lazy. Traditionally, Sundays & Mondays are the best times to find new postings. The rest of the week is usually a repeat of postings and can be frustrating to see over and over again. Everyone needs a break and job seekers are no different.
Lastly and most importantly, your spouse knows which bills are due and when, how long it’s been since he or she had a job, and realizes that you are tired of the situation too. You don’t have to constantly being up the fact that he or she is unemployed. They know.
So the next time you get frustrated with your unemployed spouse, take a few seconds and remember that he or she is doing their best. Be the type of spouse that you would want if you were looking for work.
Never Lose Hope,