There will always be nay-sayers in your life, but why do we let them get the best of us? It’s a scientific fact that for every 10 compliments we get, we forget them when one negative comment comes our way. Ok, maybe it’s not FACT per say, but I know in my life it’s true. It is sad, really, how delicate our thoughts are towards other people’s opinions. I would love to be able to say that I am above the noise of haters, but I’m human and no matter how thick of a skin I grow, negativity hurts.
Even when people don’t mean to hurt you, there are times when they say things that bring you down. They may think they are helping, but in reality they are harming you. For example, I recently wrote to one of my highly-respected mentors about a very sensitive topic: my business. If you are a business owner, you can relate. In the beginning you’re always questioning if you’re doing the right thing. Well, I asked this person how I can “know” that I’m on the right track. Keep in mind it takes a lot for me to open up and pour out my heart, and that is exactly what I did.
The reply I received was beyond disappointing. It crushed me because I was looking for a golden nugget of wisdom, that “aha” word that I needed. But I didn’t get that. After shaking it off, I realized just how much I was idolizing this person and their opinion. That was my wake up call: Forget what other people say!
Instead of getting my answer from a person, who has other things going on than my question, I found my answer in God. I should have looked there in the first place, but I thought it was a good idea to ask an outsider at the time. That was a mistake. The exact thing that woke me up was listening to Joel Osteen’s message “Grace to Finish”. He said I was not only made to start a thing, but I have the grace through God to finish it.
That was the word I needed.
This situation got me to thinking about negativity and I found out it’s not as personal as we make it. Many of these reasons have little to do with you.
1. They are jealous. Maybe you’re following your dream and people are telling you that it’s impossible or really tough to break into what you’re trying to do. It’s tougher, however, to lose your dream and give up and settle for a mediocre life. They are scared to do what you are doing so they try to make themselves feel better.
2. They can’t find anything positive. That’s right – there are just negative people out there. No matter what you or they do, something will always be wrong. You can’t change them, so don’t bother. Realize they exist and move on. Then, don’t go to them when you need a “pick-me-up”.
3. They just don’t know any better. They think they’re living the best life they can, so they are very limited. Don’t get mad at them; take pity on them. Could you imagine a life where you’re limited? That would be the worst life ever.
4. They are going off of limited information. When someone does not know you personally, it is easy to have a bucket answer that fits most situations. No one can make time for everyone because that is not wise; we have to be good stewards of the limited resource we have. Understand that when someone doesn’t answer you the way you wanted, it’s not them being negative at all, but your reaction to them.
We cannot depend on people’s reactions or the words they say. Words are much more powerful than we want to admit they are, but we can change any negativity that comes our way by changing our attitude and perception.
Never Lose Hope,